Cutting Corners

I am an absolute MASTER at cutting corners. I vacuum only the visible dirt, I cut three pieces of paper at once, and I have bruises all over my legs from literally trying to cut corners and running into all manner of things.

The result? like I said, I have bruises all over my legs. My home-made pillows often develop holes in the seams, and sometimes I have to put the chicken back in the oven. 

I've learned the hard way that cutting corners can hurt. But I've come to understand that my natural inclination to cut the corners and find new ways of doing things is an extremely valuable asset to my design work. Thankfully, design is something I've worked to understand, and its not hard to distinguish between rules that need to be kept and rules that need to be broken! That understanding, plus following processes to make sure I slow down and evaluate, means I can be sure my professional creations won't develop holes like my pillows do. 

Some corners can be cut, and some can't. I'm working to learn the difference - and make sure to deep clean every once in a while, even though it means getting in to every single corner.

Are you like me - impatiently creative? Or do you find yourself carefully crafting your vision, no matter how long it takes? 

Field Notes - Bronchitis

Well. I am not about to deliver on the aforementioned "post of substance" from the last time I blogged. No, this is something else entirely.

Since returning from our European vacation I've been floating around in this strange place of fatigue and indecision. I've started and stopped numerous things, dreamed big one day and squashed it the next. I'm only just starting to feel like I've found my groove back, but with that progress comes a bit of a complication:

bronchitis. 

Ever had it? Don't. Here are some things I've learned about living (and travelling!) with bronchitis. Field notes, if you will. 

• bronchitis means coughing. There is nay supposed to be mucus in your lungs yo, so cough it up! 
• everyone thinks your coughing sounds like you're actually dying. 
• doctors can't get rid of your bronchitis. They can however offer helpful tidbits like "you have big lungs!" ...thanks...?
• airplane descents with the sinus infection that accompanies bronchitis are painful! And also silly - I swear at one point air came out my eye. 
• cold air means coughing doesn't work very well. As a result, sore ribs/midsection/throat/head! (thanks weekend in Edmonton)
• bronchitis makes all the essential-oil enthusiast come out of the wood-work with helpful tips and kind offerings.
• bronchitis does not really respond to essential oils, or anything much else.
• bronchitis makes you TIRED
• bronchitis makes you really really appreciate your cuddly cat, your cozy home, and your loving friends and family and husband who cut you slack and take care of you. 

Back! Miss Me?

Although its doubtful that anyone has missed me on the blog, I'm back!

And I thought I'd give a little update while I try to get myself together and post something of substance. First of all, today is my 25th birthday! Its strange, this one definitely seems like the end of something...and the start of something awesome. So here's to a great golden year! 

We got back a week ago from a 2 week stint on European soil. It was a whirlwind of history, food, and culture, and hopefully soon I'll have some photos together to share. I've been wary through this whole experience of over-sharing, but everyone I talk to says "I can't wait to see your pictures!" So I'll try to narrow them down to a digestible amount :D!

We had a great thanksgiving weekend with family and friends. There is normally more space between thanksgiving and my birthday, so this year I feel extra abundantly blessed as its all pilled on at once. I have an amazing, functional family - fantastic friends who know me and (still!) love me - a terrific group of people to work with and a job that somehow still keeps me interested and inspired - and an incredible husband who I appreciate more every day. And a cat that never stops purring to fill in all the space between everything else :D. 

Here's a visual summary of life since I've been home. AKA last week :D

Taking Off

On friday Dwayne and I are taking off. We're boarding a plane in our walking shoes and embarking on a european adventure. We'll eat new things and sleep in strange places and butcher new languages. And we'll have a blast, consciously aware of the way our Father has blessed us with 2 weeks of vacation time and a host of new experiences, to expand our worldviews and strengthen our marriage. It's gonna be GREAT.

Reality Vs War

Sometimes, in the middle of my normal morning routine—between resigning myself to a banana for breakfast or weighing the effort vs payoff of making a smoothie—I hear a fragment of world news.

I struggle to grasp the reality of life for those living dying in Egypt, Syria, Israel, Sudan....

It seems to me we consider 2 options.

1. Feel a bit sad, but don't allow the reality to really sink in. After all, there's nothing you can do. 
2. Drop everything and dedicate yourself to making a difference. After all, what is my paycheck compared to someone's life?

Of course, most of us don't really consider option 2. Thats crazy talk. We resign ourselves to option 1, "wishing there was a better way!" 

I have no answer. But I am convinced that God's heart breaks for these conflicts, and if mine remains aloof, how can I continue to pray "let your will be done"?

Image (egypt): Josef Heiss
map: wikipedia

Project: Business Cards

If you're connected with me on facebook or instagram you got a glimpse of these already, back when they arrived in the mail and I couldn't contain my excitement. I've finally gotten around to taking some snazzy pics of them, and I'm excited to share my business cards. I've been freelancing since the middle of my design diploma, and somewhere in the last year I decided I really needed to shape up and be presentable. Slowly but surely I've been building a personal brand that finally worked its way into print. Any designer will tell you that they've never had a more difficult client than themselves. (printed with moo)

Days

Like most people, I think about a lot of things on a given day. Things like the future, my goals, happiness, peer pressure, my faith, the four seasons, the Bachelor (sick, I know!), chocolate, and what it means to be a christian artist and career wife.

I'm not sure if its that artistic creative side of me, but I do spend a lot of brain time on what my identity is and how I should be defining myself. There's a lot of talk these days about who we should be and what we should be living up to. First there's the "dear mom with an iphone" post, then theres the counter-posts. There's the "social networking is essential for your career," vs the "I'm swearing off social networking forever." The 'worldly' pursuits of beauty, financial success, and happiness vs the 'churchy' pursuits of holiness and servanthood and "joy in every circumstance!" In every one of my social circles there is pressure and standards to be met.

Over and over again I try to nail down my position and catch the ever elusive answer to my questions, and I keep stumbling on the same hard reality: life is not black and white. It's a daily set of decisions and actions that require discernment and wisdom to tackle, and as my circumstances change, in small ways so do I. What I would have done yesterday I may not do today. What I chose to do today I may not do tomorrow.

When I peel back the layers, there are a few things that make up my core, but everything else is seasonal. Like a tree, my leaves will grow and change and die to become new again.

Today I love triangles. Tomorrow it might be squares. but I will always love shapes, graphics, and using the creativity God pours into my soul daily.

So here's to letting the fads and trends blow by. To simply enjoying the leaves you've got right now, embracing the things that bring you joy and pointing that joy back to the one who gave it to you. I'm not going to waste any more of my week thinking about what kind of iphone mom I should be someday or whether or not my home/blog/clothes should be more/less white/coloured/graphic. And as I watch the seasons pass, the core of who I am will grow stronger, taller, and more resistant to the storms that come my way.

on that note, below is a space that brings joy to my soul and excites my love of colour
as well as a set of cards that indulge my triangle AND colour infatuations
and to complete the set, an illustration that just rocks

Re-Tree (my easy refurbishing project!)

Yesterday I underwent my easiest (and quickest) refurbishing project yet. This little christmas tree! I've had this little guy since elementary school, when I made it as a craft at a birthday party (sup Shena!). We glued buttons on and tied little bits of fabric around the branches. The result was cute and endearing, but rather country-crafty, a look I'm not super fond of anymore. So last night I decided to pull it all of and see where I ended up! I originally intended to re-decorate the tree, but honestly...once it was relieved of its tattered decor it just ... worked. I added the star ornament on top, and LOVE my new holiday decoration!

The lesson here? Don't write off those old decorations completely... maybe there's something left there after all!

Dreams

I'm starting to grow dreams.

I've never been a dreamer. It is much safer to concentrate on the here and now than to hope for something bigger tomorrow. Its easier to be content with what's on my plate when I don't think about what could be on it tomorrow. Its much less frightening to look straight ahead than to look up or down and acknowledge the heights I could be climbing.

safer. easier. less frightening.
boring. stale. irresponsible.

We've been given many gifts, and I don't thing God gave me mine for me to keep clean and dress up on holidays. So, I'm starting to grow dreams. Its scary, and each opportunity that approaches makes me wince, shrivel up, and want to hide. But instead, I plug my nose, squeeze my eyes shut, and jump.

That's Me!

My current direction of professional self-improvement is working on hand-lettering. So I did some, and oh look! it says Vanderwel, that's me. :D So I made a quick iphone background that I know the other half of these Vanderwels is going to love.

Going to the Ocean!

Next week, I'm going to the ocean! My hubby and I are travelling down the Oregon coast  to go to prison. No really, our final destination is Alcatraz in San Francisco, the only place Dwayne REALLY wanted to go. In all honesty, I'm not super stoked to go into a dark creepy prison, but I get it. It was the show (badly done as it was...) that got him hooked. It was also probably the show that gave me that creepy feeling I get when I think about visiting there...!

We compromised by him agreeing we could end our trip at the Seattle Zoo (hmm, who could have requested that one?) Although now that I think about it, I'm not sure we'll have time. Either way though, spending a week travelling beside the ocean will be wonderful enough!! 

On monday I was gripped by the need to finally make something of the canvas I have had sitting in the spare room for a few months. I went home and started with some of my favourite colours and some paintings I was inspired by, and ended up with this! Something tells me I'm more excited than I realized about travelling to the ocean!

Simple.

some people are really good at being succinct. I am not. But I will try, because really, its simple. 

Recently everything changed for me when I realized, like really UNDERSTOOD, that life is much much richer when you think about others rather than yourself. We're all much more selfish than we realize. The next time you feel unworthy, awkward, ugly, or like a failure, just STOP, and find someone to serve. Nothing makes you feel worse about yourself than dwelling on the fact that you feel bad about yourself. The truth is: you are NOT any of those things. You are incredibly valued and loved by your creator! The only way you will understand that in your heart, in the midst of feeling the complete opposite, is to start living like you're worth it so you can see the proof. Focus on others, and eventually you'll look back and see the sunrise.

...was that ok to say? 

On Repeat

I seriously hesitate to say this: but I'm going to try and start something.

:O

I am notorious for starting things and never following through. Except...I'm mostly only notorious in my own mind, because most of the things I start don't even make it out of my head. What I KNOW about myself is that I get carried away wanting to accomplish these things that don't have anything to do with me. Like wanting to start an etsy store, or build furniture, or have a photography business...all things that I only wanted because someone else had them. Thankfully in all these cases I realized before even reaching "start" that they weren't for me. I don't have anything to sell on etsy, nothing about building furniture appeals to me, and starting a photography business...? Well let's just say I'll leave that one up to everyone else. The point here is, I'm going to tell you about this new thing I'm starting, but there is a very real chance it won't last very long. I'm just being honest!!

Last week I was thinking about how much I like patterns (I REALLY like patterns) and I started lamenting how I can't ever seem to come up with cool patterns. But then I realized that I only ever try when its crunch time and I've already seen another pattern that would work and just want to re-create it but not copy it... Usually I fail and end up purchasing that pattern. Or just trashing the pattern idea (the hard thing about patterns is that the really cool ones don't really work as supportive elements...they need to be the focal point!).

Suddenly it dawned on me that I don't need to give up on pattern making. Its not like its something you're born with... "those with blue eyes stand on the left and those with pattern making on the right..." its something you can learn, study, and get better at. Or so I think. So my plan is to start making patterns for the sake of making patterns. I think I get so excited about this idea because a pattern isn't JUST a pattern. It's character creating and form studies and colour theory and balance and organization all in one! So ANYWAY, here is my first pattern, based on this adorable ceramic owl I saw at the garden store the other day. I still might have to go back and get it.

Maybe if I do keep it up for a while, I'll be able to look back on my patterns and see what I've learned. The owls on repeat are pretty basic...I'm pretty sure I can get more creative. Yay!

Living with a Tiger.

Two and a half weeks ago I began living with a tiger. At least, she thinks she's a tiger. Meet Basil (Baze-il, since everyone asks :D), our 10 week old ball of energy!

I've never had a kitten before in my LIFE and I've ALWAYS wanted one. I mean ALWAYS. I am a totally animal nut, but my parents are most definitely...not. They gave in to fish, then hamsters, then gerbils, but their tolerance fizzled out when 2 gerbils turned into 12 (they were supposed to be sisters...hullo!). I spent my highschool summers working at The Ranch with the horses (and campers), and always take advantage of my friends pets for some quality animal time. Cats, dogs, whatever! But I am deprived no longer!

Being the caretaker of a kitten has been quite the experience. I'm crossing my fingers that she'll grow up at least half decent, because I have no idea what I'm doing. So I just try to love her and play with her and sometimes discipline her. And let her learn her own lessons sometimes, like jumping in the toilet... (clean thankfully!). So far, I think we're doing OK! But I'm dreading the day she figures out how to get up on the counters....

Did I mention that she's RIDICULOUS, and incredibly funny to watch? Lets just say... run around the kitchen 50 times (backflips sprinkled throughout), attack laura's feet then leap headfirst into the wall? And again.

(first image: kitten photo FAIL, and yet...so funny :D)

(I have a feeling these pics of Basil and Hubby's work boots will be special for a long, long time!)

The Blog-o-sphere!

Inspired by this SUPER COOL post about hand made lettering (literally!) that popped up on one of my favourite blogs today, I thought I'd share some of my favourite blogs to follow. I LOVE discovering inspirational gems that challenge my creative thinking, so hopefully you'll appreciate them as much as I do! So without further ado....

1. Universal Favourite - Cool stuff from every design angle
2. Form Fifty Five - Weird and cool "design inspiration from around the world." the only annoying thing is they also have a job post feed that comes through on my reader. so sometimes there are 12 new posts all for jobs in europe. lo!
3. Joe McNally - photography blog of pro Joe McNally: i love his introspective reflections on some of the incredible projects he has worked on. Oh and because I got to go to one of his lighting workshops, he's even cooler now. 
4. Jonas Peterson - an australian wedding photographer that seems to stand out. Fantastic style!
5. Owen Davey - incredible illustrator. I just love his style! 
6. Invisible Creature - just always awesome, they're MY HEROES!!!! No big deal.
7. Paper Crave - a new find, nice stationery!
8. Lovely Stationery - similar to the above! 
9. Design for Mankind - Erin is so so off the hook, I love how she ties design concepts or pieces to interiors or fashion. She challenges me to think cohesively! And finds some crazy things!

So...Those are just my favourites! Got any to share?

Dreaming of kittens...

I'm dreaming of kittens. I'm not kidding, I can't stop. And not just in my sleep, I probably day dream more about kittens these days then anything else. Why you ask? Well because today my kitten was born!! I decided 2 months ago that Dwayne and I were going to get a kitten. It just so happened that my aunt's cat had flown the coop (again!) and had another litter on the way. I know my aunt wasn't totally stoked, since they were kinda feeling like she'd had enough kittens (I don't know the number, but trust me, she has a lottttt of offspring!) but it worked out well for me.

This morning 6 cute adorable (probably slimy?) wonderful tiny kittens joined the world! And one of them will be coming home with me. Shoot, the next couple of weeks are going to take forever until I get to take my fur ball home!!

Prepping for the LEAP.

This past weekend I taught my first class. EVER. And the crazy thing is that it was a photography course! Now before you start thinking I'm talented or something, I should disclaim that its a 4-part course at my church. For free. No pressure right? WRONG!

Unlike my younger sister, I've always known I wouldn't be a teacher. I'm not the most uncomfortable talking in front of people, but pretty close! In no way is teaching anywhere near my comfort zone! I'm not so much nervous, but totally convinced that I have no right to be up there acting like I'm something special. I was asked to teach the class a few months back, and immediately felt it was something I had to do, and that God was intending to stretch me. I've learned that often the things I fear most are God's favourite opportunities to teach me.

The evening went relatively well, but as I walked away I started to feel physically sick. It's over, but there are three left! What if they hated it?!! Did I say something stupid? Probably! I'm pretty sure it took me close to three hours and a good dose of AFV to finally relax. And prayer. Of course a constant stream of prayer and conscious effort to release my anxiety and rest in God's plan.

But you know what still amazes me most about this first experience with teaching? Three days before the day came, I finally felt at peace with it. God calmed my nerves and prepared me when it really mattered, before I got up to speak. (i should mention that he did this through a "head-flu" that sapped my energy and mellowed me out, but it did the trick!) And while I chilled out in my head I managed to get some nice photos in Whistler, a good warm-up to shooting "spirituality through a lens." What an incredible world!

We Make A Great Pear!

Its February! The month of loooove...according to any department store you go into. Well, to be honest, Valentines has been on the shelves since Christmas ended. I've never been super into this holiday, even once I booted my single status out the door for good. Somehow it just makes me feel like I should be treating my loved ones better ALL the time, and then I do this dumb thing I do where I rebel inside and don't want to participate anymore. Which accomplishes nothing of course!

So anyways, this one time where I did actually show my love for no particular reason, I created this poster for my hubby and me :D. He loves pears, and I wanted to make something for him and this is what happened!

A Christmas Tradition

I know, this is old. Christmas? That was SO 2 months ago. But I'm feeling sentimental so let's rewind! On Christmas Day this year, Hubby and I started our first Christmas tradition. Last year on Christmas day, we had a midnight Whiterock adventure and got engaged. This year we ran down the pier at noon instead of midnight, and huddled from the wind as we reflected on how much has happened in a year! I mean really, we're married!

It seems  that part of our new tradition is extreme weather conditions. Last year we got soaked in a torrential downpour, and this year we almost blew away due to the high winds! I've never seen the waves so big! (of course, I'm no Whiterock native...)

See for yourself :)

Let Me DeBrief! My day with Joe McNally

I'll start by saying this probably won't be a brief debrief.

My head is just spinning with all I've learned and excitement to put some of it to use! Or maybe its the Tim's double-double I just chugged on the drive home. My body has been crying out for coffee all day, ever since the first one I bought got left behind in my car when I switched to the work vehicle. Oooops...Ha!

But wow. That workshop was awesome! Joe McNally is a blow-your-mind amazing photographer with years of experience and an incredible portfolio to prove it. He is well-known for his years of work for National Geographic, among other huge clients. I've been in awe of him since I first discovered his work almost 2 years ago, and it was basically a dream come true to learn from him live. We even shared a moment, a little smile and then an awkward moment that should have been where I told him how much I admired his work and his instruction - but instead I lost all ability to communicate and magneted my eyes to the carpet. Yeah...its not really a secret that I'm not the best with strangers. When you heap on a fair amount of celebrity onto that stranger my social skills are basically non-existent.

However, for a day where I shared very little human interaction (which, for a "blue" personality like me is basically a write-off) while surrounded by strangers, I had an incredible time! I learned a lot and laughed a lot, as Joe is a pretty good entertainer on top of his other skills. The fun thing about live demonstration is that things can and will go wrong, wonky, or crazy, and laughing about it with a room full of people is pretty heart-warming. I came in at the last minute and had to sit in the front row (on the side), which ended up being where the models and crew sat, so I felt very close to the action. And sometimes like I should be holding a tri-grip and not sitting on my butt lol!

But lets get serious. I learned a lot by watching Joe work about how to put my equipement to better use. It was really encouraging to realize that I actually posses enough to re-create some pretty cool set-ups. I don't have a lot, but what I do have can definitely be enough!

The most valuable thing I learned though, was about confidence. Watching everything happened I realized that I get it. I am starting to really feel like I understand how lighting works. Flash photography is a beast that can't be fully tamed, but gaining confidence in how to work with it is invaluable! I feel like realizing that a complicated lighting set-up is not scary has opened up a new world for me. Because I get it, and because I know I can begin to use it to really be in control of my photographs, I feel like the next time I stand before a model I can leave some of my second-guessing behind. Its hard to describe, but I feel much more capable of being confident in a shoot. Seeing Joe McNally finagle lights and set-ups and model poses made me realize that I don't have to come to the table and know exactly what I'm doing. I just need to ACT like I do, ha! But it does mean a lot to know that the pro's aren't magical beings who produce only gold with their cameras. And I feel that much closer to being able to produce a few bits of gold with my own camera! Even though I shoot with a lowly D7000. Ha!

Be sure to check out some of Joe's Work (all photo's from joemcnally.com):

Thanks Joe! I am so grateful that you make it a point to teach and pass on your experience!