Grandma Acts of Kindness

A recent Insights digital illustration. Be kind everybody :)

Reality Vs War

Sometimes, in the middle of my normal morning routine—between resigning myself to a banana for breakfast or weighing the effort vs payoff of making a smoothie—I hear a fragment of world news.

I struggle to grasp the reality of life for those living dying in Egypt, Syria, Israel, Sudan....

It seems to me we consider 2 options.

1. Feel a bit sad, but don't allow the reality to really sink in. After all, there's nothing you can do. 
2. Drop everything and dedicate yourself to making a difference. After all, what is my paycheck compared to someone's life?

Of course, most of us don't really consider option 2. Thats crazy talk. We resign ourselves to option 1, "wishing there was a better way!" 

I have no answer. But I am convinced that God's heart breaks for these conflicts, and if mine remains aloof, how can I continue to pray "let your will be done"?

Image (egypt): Josef Heiss
map: wikipedia

July.

- lost my dear cat, adopted a charming kitten (cried a few tears). joined thousands watching fireworks. soaked in buttloads of sunshine. stood by dear friends as they got married. Put together my first book design. spent too much time feeling insecure. failed to make morning runs a habit. instead made them some kind of occasional hobby. dared to dream a few times.

Here are some highlights from the July Insights.

Dreaming an Old Dream

A few nights ago I had a dream I can remember clear as day.

I emerged from the muddle of some sort of plot line that most dreams begin with and found myself astride a beautiful white horse in a field of tall grass. We stood at the top of a bluff looking out over a sea of rolling hills. As the wind rustled through the long stalks, turning carpet into velvet, I smiled and said aloud, "This is it. This is the dream. This is all I've ever wanted, and its perfect."

Then I turned, and rode back in to the muddled fog that I came from. When I woke in the morning, it was fresh in my mind. It left me feeling refreshed, renewed, and reminded that the pressures of this world are not what our Father in heaven created us for.

I'll get there someday. :)

(photo taken in Rossland BC)

Becoming Original

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery; 
Nothing is original. All human expression is really just endless variations; 
You can't create anything new. Repetition and reference are all that is left.

In a "visual arts and culture" class in my second year DAAD program, my professor stopped her lecture and asked us all to raise our hands if we thought we were capable of changing the world. One or two people did the wavering half-raise, but the majority of us just sat there kind of stunned. Until that moment I had never realized how pessimistic my postmodern worldview was. She proceeded to explain to us how 20 years earlier when she asked that question, almost every had was raised. This was a class of 20-somethings after all: aren't we the "future generation," the ones now responsible to stop global warming, AIDS, hunger, and WWIII? But we were already jaded. 

That class gave me a LOT to think about. It helped that my prof was a vocal feminist/activist and didn't care how many students she pissed off each week, but she was great at asking the questions no one else was asking us. "Do you think you can change the world? You say you dont, but do you actually believe women are weak? Why does GI Joe have biceps bigger than his head?"

All this translates somehow into my current view of my work and the Graphic Design industry. When I graduated, I felt like I was ready to be the designer I wanted to be. I thought I knew what I needed to know and I was "it." Sure I knew I'd need to keep learning to keep up, but in a naive way I thought all I needed more of was technical skill. 

The more I work at this job, the more I become aware of how much more I want to be. I'll never be content to find a little niche and stay in it. I think its the creative spirit in me, and a deep response to my professors challenge years ago. I don't know if I can change the world with graphic design. But I know that I don't want to stop trying. Which means I have to keep striving to create something new, even though I don't know if its possible. I have to be aware of which creations of mine are imitations, which techniques are going into my tool box for a future project where I will really stretch myself. I feel like I'm "in training," and that at some point I'm going to want, need to race. 

We'll see. Maybe the nature of the beast is that I'll always feel this way. But at the end of my days, I hope that Jesus and I can look back and see that I gave it all I had, in my work and in my life. Because really this translates to everything I do. Complacency is not for me. It's not for any of us. 

Illustration Case Study

As you may know, one of my favourite things to do is illustrate. Here's a peak at my process! My own version of "how its made." This illustration is from the June Insights Magazine for an article called "Battling Disappointment." You'll be glad to know after numerous corrections I am finally able to spell "Disappointment" ("its like "appointment" with "dis" at the front!" -Robyn).

I usually start with a shape in my mind. Once it forms enough I put it on paper or ipad, then begin to bring it to life. I usually use a pencil, Photoshop and Illustrator at some point in each illustration. This guy was brought into photoshop for final texturing and some extra shading/refining. A bit of graphic accessorizing if you will.

I won't lie to you, there are many times that I get my roughs done and then realize that I hadn't planned well enough for incorporating it with the article. Sometimes it takes a bit of refining to get it all to work together! Never mind working it with the other 6 or 7 articles in each magazine...

I often plan to incorporate the title treatment within my illustration. Sometimes that means starting with the title, other times it means adding it once I have most of my elements put together. In all cases I hope and pray that the title doesn't change! 

Tell Yourself the Truth - Desktop Download #4

Sometimes I stop by utmost.org to read the daily slice from Oswald Chambers (from My Utmost for His Highest). Today I noticed the quote on the sidebar, and felt it resonate with how I sometimes struggle with my outlook on life.

"Am I getting nobler, better, more helpful, more humble, as I get older? Am I exhibiting the life that men take knowledge of as having been with Jesus, or am I getting more self-assertive, more deliberately determined to have my own way? It is a great thing to tell yourself the truth."

-Oswald Chambers, The Place of Help, 1005 R

Unfortunately I often find myself acting in the way he tries to steer us away from. I love how he finishes his convicting thought: "It is a great thing to tell yourself the truth." He passes no judgement: its up to us to see the truths in our own lives and know when its time to change.